The Rise of the Powerful and Unapologetic Woman

As a child, my parents would always tell me to speak up, but because of my chronic shyness, I rarely ever said so much as ‘hello’ to strangers. And for this, I was reprimanded. For whatever reason, which I cannot explain, I was shy. I so yearned to be like my female peers, who said ‘hello’ ‘please’ and ‘thank you,’ while maintaining eye contact with the adults to whom they spoke. But I was unable to do so. Over time, I developed a callous exterior. In order to replace the shyness, I went to the other extreme. I would say things that were shocking, or even inappropriate. I did so because I wanted to see the reactions that my words would elicit. I decided that I wanted to be different. While I was never actually outwardly bullied, I noticed that my peers silently judged me. By the time I was 13, I was no longer callous. I was once more sensitive, shy and quiet. I was embarrassed to buy my first bra, I was embarrassed when I got my period for the first time. I was embarrassed that I was ‘becoming a woman.’ I was fearful of everything. It was not until I was about 18 or 19 that I fully embraced (or at least to an extent) my catastrophic, yet vivacious personality. This, of course, was aided by a lot of therapy and maturing. Now, fast forward to the present. I am a 21 year old girl who laughs loudly, dances like a maniac, and is currently obsessively typing to the point where I think my laptop keys are going to break. Needless to say, I am much changed. Per a friend’s recommendation, I recently started watching a tv show called Crazy Ex Girlfriend. At first I thought, whilst mentally rolling my eyes, ‘this is probably another silly tv show that drags on season after season, with the girl never getting the guy.’ But then, as I kept clicking ‘watch next episode,’ I realised the connection that I have with the main character, Rebecca Bunch. Much like me, she is outspoken, loud, and painfully honest. While all the characters in the show think she is completely nuts, I believe that she is quite the contrary. She is a great example of an unapologetic woman. She is unashamed of her big boobs and less than perfect body. She talks about topics that are viewed as taboo, or classified as inappropriate for public TV (it is, after all, aired on the CW). It’s rare to see women like Rebecca portrayed in the media and popular culture, but I have noticed that these portrayals are gradually increasing. Take for example the brutal honesty of Jennifer Lawrence, who asked where the food was at the Oscars because she was so hungry; Or the ‘Free the Nipple’ movement, which aims to desexualise women’s breasts by marching through the streets, topless. These are examples of strong, outspoken women. These are women who are not afraid to be themselves, and are in fact, very proud of who they are. They do not conform to society’s standards, they do not care if someone thinks they are not skinny enough, or pretty enough, or smart enough, because they themselves know they are enough. These are the modern women, the women who shape society as it is now, and how it will be. While I think it is unrealistic to think that all women will behave in this way (here’s looking at you, Kardashians and Trumps), it is a goal that us women can all strive for. In my experience, to be told to ‘act like a lady,’ is an extremely offensive and frankly, very demeaning term. I cannot even begin to explain or fathom what defines a ‘lady.’ Is it a woman of noble birth? A woman who doesn’t drink alcohol or smokes cigarettes? A woman who wears modest clothing and speaks in a hushed tone? Why would I want to be this way, when I can be my rambunctious, provocative, and slightly crazy self?